25 days of Draco & Harry - Day Sixteen
Friday, December 16th, 2011 10:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lamerezouille
Title: The Muggle Salesman
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lamerezouille
Word Count: ~650
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: This very festive man-thong
Warning: Highlight for spoiler:* A very, very bad pun.*
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended.
Author’s Notes: These prompts are getting smaller and smaller, aren’t they? I think this one kind of melted some of my neurones.
‘Are you ready for your present?’ Draco asked in a sing-song voice.
Harry nodded fervently, with a very silly grin on his face. Here, sitting on his bed, eyes closed and waiting for Draco to tell him he could open them, Harry looked positively delectable.
Draco carefully placed the wrapped box in Harry’s hands and leaned closer to whisper in his ear, ‘Open it.’
Draco was so excited and impatient to see Harry’s reaction to the gift he’d found him. He had had troubles at first, finding Harry something that would tell him “I love you so much, never break up with me, please,” but he knew this was the most thoughtful gift he’d ever offered anyone.
Okay, maybe Pansy should get a tiny weeny bit of credit for this genius gift. When Draco was complaining loudly how he was a lousy boyfriend who couldn’t find a perfect gift to save his life, it was her after all who had said, ‘Draco, Darling, doesn’t your Harry ever talk? I’m sure he must have mentioned in passing something that he’d always dreamt of having. He was raised by Muggles, after all. He must have a lot of unfulfilled dreams.’
And then had Draco had the Greatest Gift Idea of All Times. He had a flash of Harry and him walking in a Muggle park and Harry pointing to this weird cloth tended between trees with a couple cuddling in it. Harry had said, with a dreamy tone in his voice, ‘I always wanted one of those…’
Draco had had his worst present-finding problem when he went to the Muggle shop and tried to make the Muggle salesman understand what he was looking for. ‘It’s like a piece of cloth attached with strings. It’s for my boyfriend,’ Draco told the Muggle.
The Muggle seemed very enthusiastic to help him find the perfect thing, but he was not very articulate and Draco wasn’t sure he understood everything the Muggle salesman said. The Muggle asked him something about a banana and after thinking about it, yeah, Draco confirmed it was a bit shaped like a banana. They were definitely talking about the same thing, then.
Things had been easy after that. The salesman must have seen that Draco was in a hurry, because he came back with the gift already all wrapped, and Draco didn’t have to worry anymore about anything else than receiving an enthusiastic reward from Harry.
Harry lifted the lid of the box and a frown suddenly marred his face. What? Draco thought. He hoped the Muggles hadn’t messed up with the colour; he had asked specifically for red, Harry’s favourite.
‘Uh, Draco? Why are you offering me a thong?’ Harry asked, uncertain.
‘No,’ Draco answered stubbornly. What the hell was Harry talking about? ‘I’m offering you one of these pieces of cloth you attach to trees, you know, where people sleep in.’
‘You wanted to give me a hammock?’ Harry asked with a hopeful voice, a huge smile and little stars in his eyes. Even if he didn’t seem happy with the gift itself, the idea of the gift had clearly charmed him as much as Draco had hoped it would.
‘Yes! That’s it, a hammock. Merlin, I couldn’t remember the name!’ Draco answered enthusiastically. And then he remembered that the box Harry had just opened didn’t seem to hold a hammock.
As an afterthought, Draco thought that yes, maybe he should have known that Muggles couldn’t shrink things and that a box this size certainly couldn’t have held a normal-sized hammock. But what was it, then, that Draco had bought and that the Muggle salesman had thought he wanted?
‘This,’ Harry said, showing Draco a hideous piece of underwear Draco would never have bought had he been aware of the Muggle salesman’s dirty, dirty thoughts, ‘is not a hammock, Draco. But it’s not so far off. After all, some people do call it a banana hammock.’
Author:
lamerezouilleWord Count: ~650
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: This very festive man-thong
Warning: Highlight for spoiler:* A very, very bad pun.*
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended.
Author’s Notes: These prompts are getting smaller and smaller, aren’t they? I think this one kind of melted some of my neurones.
‘Are you ready for your present?’ Draco asked in a sing-song voice.
Harry nodded fervently, with a very silly grin on his face. Here, sitting on his bed, eyes closed and waiting for Draco to tell him he could open them, Harry looked positively delectable.
Draco carefully placed the wrapped box in Harry’s hands and leaned closer to whisper in his ear, ‘Open it.’
Draco was so excited and impatient to see Harry’s reaction to the gift he’d found him. He had had troubles at first, finding Harry something that would tell him “I love you so much, never break up with me, please,” but he knew this was the most thoughtful gift he’d ever offered anyone.
Okay, maybe Pansy should get a tiny weeny bit of credit for this genius gift. When Draco was complaining loudly how he was a lousy boyfriend who couldn’t find a perfect gift to save his life, it was her after all who had said, ‘Draco, Darling, doesn’t your Harry ever talk? I’m sure he must have mentioned in passing something that he’d always dreamt of having. He was raised by Muggles, after all. He must have a lot of unfulfilled dreams.’
And then had Draco had the Greatest Gift Idea of All Times. He had a flash of Harry and him walking in a Muggle park and Harry pointing to this weird cloth tended between trees with a couple cuddling in it. Harry had said, with a dreamy tone in his voice, ‘I always wanted one of those…’
Draco had had his worst present-finding problem when he went to the Muggle shop and tried to make the Muggle salesman understand what he was looking for. ‘It’s like a piece of cloth attached with strings. It’s for my boyfriend,’ Draco told the Muggle.
The Muggle seemed very enthusiastic to help him find the perfect thing, but he was not very articulate and Draco wasn’t sure he understood everything the Muggle salesman said. The Muggle asked him something about a banana and after thinking about it, yeah, Draco confirmed it was a bit shaped like a banana. They were definitely talking about the same thing, then.
Things had been easy after that. The salesman must have seen that Draco was in a hurry, because he came back with the gift already all wrapped, and Draco didn’t have to worry anymore about anything else than receiving an enthusiastic reward from Harry.
Harry lifted the lid of the box and a frown suddenly marred his face. What? Draco thought. He hoped the Muggles hadn’t messed up with the colour; he had asked specifically for red, Harry’s favourite.
‘Uh, Draco? Why are you offering me a thong?’ Harry asked, uncertain.
‘No,’ Draco answered stubbornly. What the hell was Harry talking about? ‘I’m offering you one of these pieces of cloth you attach to trees, you know, where people sleep in.’
‘You wanted to give me a hammock?’ Harry asked with a hopeful voice, a huge smile and little stars in his eyes. Even if he didn’t seem happy with the gift itself, the idea of the gift had clearly charmed him as much as Draco had hoped it would.
‘Yes! That’s it, a hammock. Merlin, I couldn’t remember the name!’ Draco answered enthusiastically. And then he remembered that the box Harry had just opened didn’t seem to hold a hammock.
As an afterthought, Draco thought that yes, maybe he should have known that Muggles couldn’t shrink things and that a box this size certainly couldn’t have held a normal-sized hammock. But what was it, then, that Draco had bought and that the Muggle salesman had thought he wanted?
‘This,’ Harry said, showing Draco a hideous piece of underwear Draco would never have bought had he been aware of the Muggle salesman’s dirty, dirty thoughts, ‘is not a hammock, Draco. But it’s not so far off. After all, some people do call it a banana hammock.’
These words mean something
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Date: Thursday, December 29th, 2011 09:32 am (UTC)If I win best use of a prompt, you certainly win best prompting! Thank you so much for all the inspiration!
(also a lot of icon love, too; you couldn't have rewarded me better than with Calvin&Hobbes)