lamerezouille: (Arthur)
[personal profile] lamerezouille
Title: A Spider in the Bathroom
Author: [ profile] lamerezouille
Word Count: ~750
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: This very fancy bathroom
Warning: Highlight for spoilers: *Sort of cross-over with Merlin(BBC) RPF*
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended.
Author’s Notes: For the sake of this, we’ll pretend the prompt was in fact a very regular bathroom.

‘Seriously, Harry, what do you think they would hide here of all places?’ Draco said with a bored tone.

‘I’m not saying they’re hiding their deepest secrets in a French hotel bathroom. I’m just saying we were told to check everywhere,’ Harry answered, bending down to look into the cupboard under the washbasin.

Draco was idly looking into some drawer filled with spare toothbrushes and toothpaste, not very convinced that what they were doing was worth the Galleons the Ministry paid them for.

‘Do you think it’s true, what they say?’ Draco asked, examining the effects of his new hair products in the mirror. ‘That some foolish wizards are using these Muggles to expose the Wizarding World? Even if it was true, I don’t know what kind of proof we’d find in some actor’s bathroom.’

‘I don’t know either,’ Harry answered distractedly, ‘any traces of magic, I suppose.’

It was the tenth hotel room they’d searched today and Draco was getting quite bored with all this. He’d spent a whole afternoon and the beginning of an evening with Harry in bloody bedrooms and hadn’t managed to distract him enough for even one snog. It was time for Draco to take charge of things.

He slid behind Harry, who was still dutifully checking each and every cupboard in the room, and slipped his hands around Harry’s waist, stroking his hips softly. He nuzzled the back of his neck and smiled when he heard Harry moan. Harry slowly turned around, and was faster to slip his tongue in Draco’s mouth than his earlier seriousness would have suggested.

Harry was soon pressing Draco against the shower and shoving his hands in Draco’s hair, doing the thing with his tongue that made Draco’s knees go weak. Harry’s hands were on Draco’s shoulders when he suddenly stopped everything.

Draco almost started whining, but Harry pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him preventively. ‘The actor,’ he whispered, ‘he’s back in his room.’

‘All right, let’s hone our Hiding and Observing skills, then.’

Harry smiled and in the blink of an eye, Harry was gone, and in his place, on the ground, Draco could see a big and hairy black spider. Draco grinned, Disillusioned himself and flattened himself against the wall.

The actor entered the bathroom purposely and went straight to the bathtub. He was very attractive, Draco thought, and he might be even more so if blonds had been Draco’s type.

Draco didn’t have more time to reflect on it though, because the man jumped and cried out, and rushed out of his room with a frenzied look on his face. Draco had just time to realise the cause of the Muggle’s reaction had been Harry-the-spider before the actor came back, followed by another man armed with a video camera.

The second man was thin with dark hair and looked startlingly like Merlin was depicted in his younger portraits. Oh, Draco thought; if this man was to be on Muggle tee-vee, the Minister of Magic had good reasons to worry about the Statute of Secrecy.

The two Muggles seemed focused on Harry, and Draco didn’t like it so much. The blond one tried and finally managed to put him in a metallic cylinder, and Draco had to bite his lip and clench his fists to keep from hexing him. The Muggles seemed to think it was all a very good laugh, and they went out of the room, babbling at each other and at the camera. Draco followed them discreetly on the hotel’s balcony and watched with indignation and horror as they carelessly threw Harry in the dark.

Draco waited for the men to go back inside and, when he was sure it was safe, ended his Disillusionment Charm and called for Harry in the dark, trying not to let his voice show all the concern he was feeling.

When Harry finally reappeared at Draco’s side, he didn’t seem fazed at all by what had happened, and Draco couldn’t help but resent a little that he had worried for nothing.

‘No need to investigate here much longer,’ Harry declared confidently. ‘Even if this TV show was to show Merlin’s life exactly as it was, I don’t think the Wizarding World is in any danger to be discovered.’

‘How do you figure? Was being trapped in a tin so enlightening, Auror Potter?’

‘Let’s face it, Draco. After what we’ve seen of them, I can assure you there is no way anybody would take anything starring these two guys seriously.’

They Apparated away.

For those who have no idea what this is all referring to, here’s a clue.
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July 2012

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